September 5, 2011

2 Months

how can it be? we miss you so much. so many things i've wanted to say, wanted to share, wanted to do with you in those 2 months. things will never be the same. trying hard to adjust to the new normal, the normal that we hate, the normal that hurts all the time. the happy moments are bittersweet. will it ever go away and stop hurting less, so that we can breathe normally, laugh with abandon, and live...really live. the prayers from everywhere have lifted us up, and literally keep us going. Today I found the card you gave me for valentines day this year. it said alot of mushy stuff..and ended with "...and no matter what i always love you with all my heart".....

1 comment:

  1. This whole "new normal" thing just chaps my ass! LOL
    On the day that you posted this I was in the hospital on bed rest. I was in week 20 of the pregnancy that we tried so hard for years to achieve. 15 days later, my daughter was stillborn in week 22. I never even got to feel her kicking me. I remember a particular day early on, I'm pretty sure I was in a grief induced blackout(I barely remember anything of the first couple of months afterward) but I recall a crystal clear moment when a good friend told me that I have a "new normal" now and that is what God required me to navigate through. Since that day, I get it. It's definitely a new something, but it sure as shit isn't normal to me! I hate it, it sucks, I wouldn't wish a "new normal" on even my worst enemy (ok, maybe I might...) I don't think I can ever get on board with it.Some days, I think new normals can go suck it and other days it just is what it is. Not normal at all.