January 27, 2012

People of Walmart

I’m so disgusted with the world and myself right now.  I would cry but I don’t feel like having mascara all over my face.  The baby and I just left Walmart.  First of all, Walmart sucks.  There are 3 complete aisles of pet food/toys/snacks.  Really.  A whole complete aisle with nothing but candy on both sides.  Every kind you could think of.  However, they no longer carry most of the natural/organic pop tarts, granola bars, half and half, and milk that I buy.  People of walmart.com, you really need 3 aisles of pet food and a whole aisle of candy, but you can’t carry one little tiny shelf with a few healthy alternatives?  I have a niece who hasn’t stepped foot in Walmart in years.  I’m so hugely impressed with that.  So, I don’t think I’m going to Walmart anymore.  It’s too far away, It’s not convenient, it takes too long to shop there, and the people are too weird.  Leaving there I am sitting at a red light, which turns green, and the car in front of me does not go.  She doesn’t go because someone is making a u-turn illegally on a red light in the other lane.  I see this, but the car behind me does not, and he toots his horn.  Just a millisecond…just sort of a “hey, light’s green” toot.  She immediately flips me off, then takes off screeching her tires.  Gheez, I think, this woman is a nutjob.  Who gets that angry over a nanosecond of a horn toot?  Now we’re on Veterans and I’m behind her, and this lunatic LOCKS.IT.UP. in the middle of the highway!!! OMG!!! She is trying to kill me.  I’m just shaking my head…’cause this is EXACTLY what is WRONG with this HELL HOLE OF A WORLD.  At the next red light, I roll down my window because I am a complete idiot and I used to be sort of a ‘fighter’ and maybe there are still some remnants of that in me.  What possible words can be said to make this ok?  I know full well she is going to curse me and be disgusting, but I do it anyway.  I roll the window down.  I say what is your problem weirdo?  She starts ranting about the car making the u-turn.  But I can’t even hear her really, because all I can think is that this really isn’t about a car making a u-turn.  No…not at all.  This is about you being crazy and miserable and hateful and disgusting.  But at the same time, I’m realizing that I’m crazy and miserable and hateful and disgusting too.  And then, as she started to curse at me and be rude, I blurted out…Is it because you weigh 400 lbs, is that why you’re so miserable???  Now seriously, this is just wrong!  Some people that I love very much and think very highly of, are, unfortunately, overweight.  They try, they hate it, I hate it for them, but it’s the cross they bear.  I quickly stopped feeling bad when she retorted that I have a horse face.  Really?  Hmm…I’m thinking.  I always thought my features were tiny.  I’m petite…I’ve always wanted to be bigger all over…so maybe this is a compliment.  And then, she said IT.  “It” is a thing so repulsive, revolting, twisted and just plain wrong on every level that I don’t know if I can even say it.  I want to.  I really do.  I want people to know why I’m shaken that my beautiful sons share a world with people who say this, and maybe even do this.  But I’m sitting here thinking of who will read this and how aghast they will be.  Heck, I’m going to say it…because “I” didn’t say it…she did….and I want us all to be scared of people.  She said…………….”I will cut your cl*t off and make you eat it”.  Really.  She said that.  And when she did, I felt like I was the devil.  And it’s probably ‘cause he was in the car with me.  Cause I shouldn’t have rolled down my window.  I shouldn’t have taught the precious baby how to engage in a road rage battle.  And that’s just what I did.  And I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry to him, and I’m sorry to the lady.  Maybe she has some horrid story…maybe it’s even more horrible than my own.  But all I know is that we can’t go there.  We should never go there.  To this horrible place where humans scream at one another and feel such hatred for one another and take anger out on one another.  I’m vowing to never do it again.  I will stop screaming “IDIOT” at people who cut me off.  I will stop cursing about how people drive.  And I will do it because I don’t want my boys to do it.  Because it’s the right thing to do.  And also because it’s the safe thing to do.  We live in a city where probably hundreds of thousands of people place the value of life at zero.  I think a lot about how we all have the opportunity to kill people everyday…in our cars.  We could ram into whoever we want.  I know I don’t want to do that….but I sometimes secretly fret about what nutso might want to do that to me.  So I’m done.  No more Walmart.  No more road rage.  Starting right now, I will practice peacefulness.  Kind of like I practice positive thinking.  I make everything into a good thing, and its become a way of life.  I’m praying it works.


  1. cheers to your new found wally-world freedom! serenity now!

  2. Ahh. Road rage. I've had some moments here in Houston, which frankly, should have gotten me killed, but are now just funny stories.

    Like the time I told off a bullying traffic cop at a busy intersection, with my poor husband listening helplessly to the exchange via the cell phone cradled in my lap. (He was pretty sure he was going to have to bail me out. I mean, a cop, right? My temper makes no allowances for status or job description, however.)

    Or the time I got out of my car and tried to pull a VERY RUDE WOMAN through her driver's side window. Afterward, my 8 y/o son timidly piped up from the back seat, "Mommy, what's a c**t?" Yeah, very proud parenting moment there.

    So it happens. To all of us. And all we can do is just keep motoring (pun intended.)

    Just know that if it happens again, you can call me to make your bail.

  3. This is the best thing I've ever read.

  4. LOL

    Do you know what I hate? When you're coming to a red light and people cut in front of you. Then they slam on their brakes. I hate that.

    One guy did that to me and I called him a jerk. DS chimes in with, "Nuh uh. He's a jackass."

  5. I'm proud of you. Your entire blog.

  6. Danielle...you are right, they are very funny stories now! "Is it because you weigh 400 pounds?"= Coffee on my monitor. Late to this blog, but I'm catching up now!