February 18, 2012

Seeking good air

Last night my mom and I packed up the 3 darlings and took them for a steak dinner.  We don’t do restaurants very often.  It’s too chaotic, the 2 year old doesn’t stay in his seat, they don’t like much food other than cereal, and it’s just…too….stressful.  I was determined to have a good time though, and so was my mom.  I’m thinking about auras today…and last night we spun ours on the grumpy boys with good results.  It was a nice dinner, good food, good conversation, everyone behaved, mom and I had a few drinks, and until baby darling started tugging at his pants and saying “I got poo” over and over at the end, it was perfect.  Score for us.

At dinner we were discussing the things we can do next week to stay busy and avoid being home fighting and sulking and screaming F words.  (For the record, I’m the only one who does the F word part.)  I said maybe a visit to Global Wildlife where you can feed the animals, as some of us have never been, maybe a full day at the park with a picnic lunch and visits to the museum and sculpture garden and Storyland.  Maybe a short stay in the Quarter after it’s all cleaned up with lemon soap, where we can enjoy a heated pool, some good restaurants and play tourists for a day.  All that sounds great.  My mom suggested I should take “Mimi” with us.  Mimi is my 92 year old grandmother who looks and acts 70.  She has never sinned in her life.  You think I’m kidding, but I’m so not.  She is a saint.  Only she’s alive and living and breathing and we get to enjoy this right here and now on earth.  She loves getting out of the house, and truthfully she can wear me out, and I have some stamina, let me tell you.  This is a woman who will visit the zoo with 5 kids and stop at the Mall on the way home to buy pants. I kid you not.  I laughed and said, yes, what a great idea, because I know I can’t be screaming and dropping F bombs if Mimi is there.  A quick vote revealed that even the waiter was in favor.  Consider it done then!  I now have a chaperone for some of the week and my kids are thrilled.

The middle darling told me this morning he shouldn’t have worn that bead to dinner last night.  I asked him why, what bead?  He said the ‘mucus’ bead, because he has mucus and now he’s nervous about it.  The truth is he does have mucus and croup, but it was a Krewe of Muses bead he wore.  Good thing he’s so cute!  Because his behavior with me is nothing short of horrendous.  He whines constantly, is very negative and is just so NOT a joy to be around, mostly.  He does this only at home, they think he’s precious at school.  I’m seriously at my wit’s end with him, because the negativity is reaching epic levels.  And so, this morning, he and I played a little game about ‘auras’.  Only I didn’t use the word aura.  I used the word air instead.  It went something like this:

Me:  If you can’t get your shoe on and you start flailing around and freaking out and making monster noises and rolling around on the floor, would that make good air swirl around you, or bad?

HIm: Bad

Me:  If you can’t get your shoe on and you just say, “Mommy, I need help with my shoe” would that make bad air swirl around you and land on me.

Him: No

Me:  Good. Let’s try another one.  If I say we are having chicken for dinner, but you want pizza, and you start crying really loud and screaming that you hate chicken, would that make bad air swirl around the room and land on everyone?

Him: Yes

Me:  Ok, how about this.  You know how sometimes me and you, we just look at one another and smile, and I say I love you Loo Loo, and we both feel happy and feel a lot of love in our hearts and we feel so much love we have to hug tightly right away?  Does that make good air or bad air swirl around the room and land on everyone?

Him: (laughing and smiling) Good Air!

And so, the new rule in our house is that we only want good air swirling around.  We don’t want bad air landing on us.  If someone acts mean or ugly or negative, we have to run quickly out of the room, because we only want the good air on us, not the bad air.  My Evergreen friends may notice this is similar to a game we used to play called “Fot germs”.   For everyone else from far away who hasn’t a clue what a ‘fot’ is…it’s a coonass way of saying “fart”…only we say it wrong because we speak improperly.  On purpose.

 Seek the good air people!


  1. Lovely! I think I am going to do this with my kids as well! SEEK GOOD AIR! love it!!!

  2. I love this, I am going to do this with my son. I am constantly trying to get him to think positive. This might just hit home with him. Thank you :)

  3. Yep. Going to be doing this with my little one with negative tendencies. Every other weekend he goes to his dad's and comes back negative. I think his dad criticizes him way too much and my son is a very tender soul who takes it internally. You are not only teaching your son a valuable skill but now mine, thank you.

  4. Ha! Hailing from Sout' Louisiana, baby, I immediately knew what a "fot" was.