March 8, 2012
The TLC Channel is changing my view of the world, and I’m increasingly disgusted by it. I’m actually quite scared. You bunch of scary oddballs! I just saw the ad for their newest show, My Secret Addiction. Grown men dressed in baby pajamas drinking from baby bottles and playing with legos. Grown men making out with and masturbating and humping their vehicles. A grown woman with a house full of dolls. DOLLS woman, they are called DOLLS. But she doesn’t let anyone call them DOLLS. You have to call them kids or babies. I would so love to NOT participate in that charade with her. I hope she lives near me, so I can knock on her door and call them dolls repeatedly. I mean seriously, if the baby pajama man were standing in front of me right now, I’m not sure I could even verbalize my extreme disgust. What IN.THIS.WORLD is wrong with people? Add to this all the hoarders we now know exist, and let’s face it; we share this beautiful Earth with a bunch of whack jobs. There is a part of me that doesn’t even want to believe this is real. That it’s all staged because the rest of us ‘normal’ people have become so obsessed with ‘reality shows’ that suddenly, the weirder you are, the better. It’s scary to me that we are encouraging ILLNESS and putting it on TV. Ratings, right? For the record, I watch no reality shows, only hoarders. But what if it’s true. Even just a smidgeon. What if you are the single mom with 3 kids who lives down the street from one of these ‘oddballs’. These people obviously need help, not glorification.
The only good thing that has come from watching hoarders is, well, actually, two things. One is that I don’t feel badly anymore about throwing so much stuff away. Not that I felt badly before, but I went from feeling neutral to feeling good about trashing shit. Secondly, I feel validated that I never eat stuff from strangers. We have a family member that likes to bring us food from potluck dinners at her church. Are you kidding me? These people could be hoarders. They could have dead cats in their kitchens. They could have fungus and poo on their fingers. Who knows what kinds of filth could be lurking there. No way. I used to feel badly about tossing the food. There are starving people in the world. I think about starving people a lot because my kids waste a lot of delicious food. Thanks to hoarders, I don’t feel badly about tossing the very possibly tainted church food.
Also, in case you are following the story that I mentioned before, the man’s ass that was packed with gauze because of some fucking schmucking disgusting ecoli bacteria, well, he is still ill. Quick phone update today from this particular family member on that matter, as I was eating my lunch. She knew I was eating, because I was chewing loudly. Mind you I don’t know this man. At all. I think I saw him once. We might have said hello. I feel certain he doesn’t know she is updating every person she talks to about his ass bacteria. And yes, this is just further confirmation as to why you shouldn’t eat food from strangers. This man may have touched the ecoli ass and then cooked. You can die from that shit. I’m not kidding.
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