I’m in the
asshole free zone because we had a meeting of the Assholes Anonymous Club last
night. The muthas ate, drank and were
merry. I have come to the conclusion
that vodka is a health food. Everything
else makes me so hungover. But vodka never
does. Hence, it’s health benefits.
Many people
are gearing up for Thanksgiving festivities.
Last year, I wanted to sling all the food to the floor, kick the table
over, then scream and pull my hair like a madwoman. There seemed to be zero to be thankful
about. If I had to pick something last
year, I guess I could have said I was thankful that I had still managed not to be
a violent psychopath, in spite of the gods repeated taunting.
I remember turning
the radio up on the way home so my kids couldn’t hear the animal noises that
exited my throat while I made ugly cry faces and tried not to scare them. Forcing my body to start the car, drive the
car, pay attention to the road…it required monumental effort. I was a dead soul in a live body. I did it for the kids, and then I came home
and got in bed.
It was the
first real holiday without him, not counting Halloween. I got through Halloween by running up the
stairs repeatedly in my Batgirl costume to do shots of Patron.
365 days
have passed since then, and I can’t deny that I feel better. I’m thankful for the healing that has been
bestowed upon my family over the last year.
I’m thankful for the people who have not forsaken us. The people who still remember us, who still
have a tight circle around us, the ones who felt our pain and agreed to carry
some of it as their own. The Universe
does rain down good tidings too. We live
with our eyes open, so that we can scoop up every drop.
I won’t lie
that I’m still a little nervous about this time of year. But I’ll handle it. I always do.
I remind myself that I’m chocked full of all kinds of badassery. As I used to say before a half million people
started reading this blog, and I consequently started feeling the social noose
around my neck, “I’m the chief of the badass motherfuckers in charge.” I'm gonna live in this world my way.
So, a little
advice…to those gathering with family this week. Hold your people close. Even those that are past due for attendance
to the Assholes Anonymous meeting. Be
forgiving. Be patient. Be kind. Be loving. Be ACCEPTING. Those people are not going to be here one
day. Hell, they may not even be here
tomorrow. You will never be sorry for
doing the right thing. If that shit doesn't work, then kick the table over. At least you tried!
So glad I found this blog, you are a BAMF in charge!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Madwoman. =)
ReplyDeleteLove your message... This is the first year I've seen my mother in 7 years. Our relationship is very unstable - but she just beat lung cancer. If that isn't the gods screaming at me to make things right between us, I don't know what is.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful to have stumbled upon you- we have a lot in common and i am thankful for the humor aspect- and that you love patron! Cheers and HappyThanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful to have stumbled upon your blog- we have a lot in common and i find your stories- theraputic in a way- cheers to you-
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful message you 've conveyed. It is never too late to reach out to someone you haven't talked to / touched base in a while. Happy Holidays :)
ReplyDeleteHoly fuck, I just read this. Not to be morbid, but your husband died on Nov 21st? That was my husband's birthday, and it's the hardest day of the year for me, second only to the day I found him dead. Motherfucker.
ReplyDelete