March 7, 2013
The Ignorant Serfs
My children are constantly schooling me. No doubt, they were handed to me for this very reason. Or perhaps I’ve just been watching too many episodes of LOST.
I had a ‘moment’ this morning. I’ve been butting heads with my middle darling for a few days now. He blows everything out of proportion, he assumes the worst is going to happen all the time, he takes a very subtle and unintentional slight and turns it into Mt. Vesuvius.
My knee jerk reaction is always the same. I’ve explained the “mountain vs. a mole hill” scenario too many times. “Pipe down, little fella,” I tell him over and over.
Yet this morning, a light bulb went off in my head. The constant Rubik’s cube twisting and turning in my brain finally brought me to the place where I considered surrendering. Dare I raise the white flag and just let him be? Let the boy be one who questions!
You see, while I’m simultaneously trying to convince him to stop questioning every little thing, I’ve been actually sitting here once again questioning why people in general can be so dumb and unquestioning.
Here’s my Rubik’s cube for this week.
These new compact fluorescent light bulbs contain mercury. No biggie. It only comes out if you drop one and break it. No harm there. If you notice now, there’s a little blurb on the box that says you should “Manage in accordance with Spills, Disposal and Site Cleanup Requirements. In case of breakage, follow cleanup procedures provided by epa.gov.” Wow, suddenly this sounds all serious. If you go to the EPA site, they have this long list of precautions you should take if you break one. Open all doors and windows, move kids and pets out of the room, wear gloves, find a proper disposal site, etc.
Apparently this mercury must be slightly hazardous, right? SO WHY IN THE FACK DO DENTISTS STILL PUT IT IN OUR MOUTHS???
Here’s the next one. Toothpaste. Specifically, toothpaste with fluoride. Ever notice that the tube says in case you swallow it, you should contact poison control? Poison control? Really? I caught myself saying to middle darling the other day, “Don’t swallow it, it’s poison!” His eyes got big and he spit it out and he said, “Then why are you letting me put it in my mouth?”
I had no answer. Because I’m just one of the serfs, I guess. I’m doing what ‘they say’ to do. And I’m not questioning it. Because even if you don’t swallow the toothpaste, you are likely gulping down gallons of it every day because our governments are putting it IN OUR WATER! So we are to call poison control if we swallow the toothpaste, yet we are not to call poison control when we drink our eight glasses of water each day? And this makes sense, how? I’ve read that one swallows the same amount of fluoride in 8 oz of water as is used to brush your teeth. Of course I’m no scientist. I’m just a mutha. What the fack do I know, right?
By the way, fluoride is now banned in China, India, Japan, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Germany, Italy, Belgium, Austria, France, and The Netherlands.
I once had another theory, about poo, that made me rather famous. I know this because people bring it up to me all the time, and talk about how I forever changed their bathroom routines by voicing my concerns.
I think I’ve tried to push this one on you readers as well, by asking how you handle the situation if you are casually walking through your yard barefoot and you happen to step in a pile of dog shit? Do you simply wipe it off with toilet paper? Or do you head to the hose and squirt it off, and then go inside and perform yet another cleansing with soap?
That’s what I thought. That’s precisely why the rest of the world uses a bidet.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” -- Margaret Meade
- ▼ 2013 (20)
- ► 2012 (108)