March 7, 2013

The Ignorant Serfs

My children are constantly schooling me.  No doubt, they were handed to me for this very reason.  Or perhaps I’ve just been watching too many episodes of LOST.

I had a ‘moment’ this morning.  I’ve been butting heads with my middle darling for a few days now.  He blows everything out of proportion, he assumes the worst is going to happen all the time, he takes a very subtle and unintentional slight and turns it into Mt. Vesuvius.

My knee jerk reaction is always the same.  I’ve explained the “mountain vs. a mole hill” scenario too many times.  “Pipe down, little fella,” I tell him over and over.

Yet this morning, a light bulb went off in my head.  The constant Rubik’s cube twisting and turning in my brain finally brought me to the place where I considered surrendering.  Dare I raise the white flag and just let him be?  Let the boy be one who questions!

You see, while I’m simultaneously trying to convince him to stop questioning every little thing, I’ve been actually sitting here once again questioning why people in general can be so dumb and unquestioning.

Here’s my Rubik’s cube for this week.

These new compact fluorescent light bulbs contain mercury.  No biggie.  It only comes out if you drop one and break it.  No harm there.  If you notice now, there’s a little blurb on the box that says you should “Manage in accordance with Spills, Disposal and Site Cleanup Requirements.  In case of breakage, follow cleanup procedures provided by”  Wow, suddenly this sounds all serious.  If you go to the EPA site, they have this long list of precautions you should take if you break one.  Open all doors and windows, move kids and pets out of the room, wear gloves, find a proper disposal site, etc.

Apparently this mercury must be slightly hazardous, right?  SO WHY IN THE FACK DO DENTISTS STILL PUT IT IN OUR MOUTHS???


Here’s the next one.  Toothpaste.  Specifically, toothpaste with fluoride.  Ever notice that the tube says in case you swallow it, you should contact poison control?  Poison control?  Really?  I caught myself saying to middle darling the other day, “Don’t swallow it, it’s poison!”  His eyes got big and he spit it out and he said, “Then why are you letting me put it in my mouth?”

“Why, mommy?”

I had no answer.  Because I’m just one of the serfs, I guess.  I’m doing what ‘they say’ to do.  And I’m not questioning it.  Because even if you don’t swallow the toothpaste, you are likely gulping down gallons of it every day because our governments are putting it IN OUR WATER!  So we are to call poison control if we swallow the toothpaste, yet we are not to call poison control when we drink our eight glasses of water each day?  And this makes sense, how?  I’ve read that one swallows the same amount of fluoride in 8 oz of water as is used to brush your teeth.  Of course I’m no scientist.  I’m just a mutha.  What the fack do I know, right?

By the way, fluoride is now banned in China, India, Japan, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Germany, Italy, Belgium, Austria, France, and The Netherlands.

I once had another theory, about poo, that made me rather famous.  I know this because people bring it up to me all the time, and talk about how I forever changed their bathroom routines by voicing my concerns.

I think I’ve tried to push this one on you readers as well, by asking how you handle the situation if you are casually walking through your yard barefoot and you happen to step in a pile of dog shit?  Do you simply wipe it off with toilet paper?  Or do you head to the hose and squirt it off, and then go inside and perform yet another cleansing with soap?


That’s what I thought.  That’s precisely why the rest of the world uses a bidet.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned citizens can change the world.  Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”  -- Margaret Meade


  1. Loved are so right and so funny about it...thanks for the words bz

  2. You know 18 years ago when I had my first, the doctors kept telling me to buy the baby water with added flouride instead of tap water to make her bottles. I haven't shopped for gallons of that water in a long time, but I also dont see it anymore. My ex was a hazmat guy and that stuff is no joke. They use Class A suits to clean it up. Crazy stuff. And then all those meds to make people better, now there are commercials from lawyers because you're sicker now. OMG. Stop putting harmful stuff in out stuff you greedy corporate slackers.

  3. So those "GREEN" stupid ass curly lightbulbs have freaking MERCURY in them? WTF? Awesome. And WTH with the Flouride? At my dentist appointment last Fall they actually did a Flouride treatment to my teeth that stayed on for several hours. Why are they still allowed to use it? I had been using baking soda as my toothpaste but the dentist told me it wasn't good for my teeth. But freaking POISON Flouride is good for me? Jesus, Mary and Joseph...what the hell are we supposed to do?

  4. God I love you but I think you've got it wrong here- at least about the factoids- not the intent.
    Dentists haven't used Mercury to fill cavities in decades. Most old fillings are actually a combo of hard metals including silver. Currently they use an amalgam of materials that now match the surface color, and strength, of your teeth. If you have an old filling that needs to be replaced- this is what they use. Fluoridation of public water went into effect as an official US Public Health Policy in 1951 (as a result of studies that showed our children's teeth were rotting). The high mineral and low metal content in our drinking water was (and would) result in the demineralization of our teeth leading to decay which can lead to infection, loss of structure, and early death.
    And as for the countries you listed as having banned fluoride- most of those have done so as a cost cutting policy because their free public health care is killing them financially. Others, have found they simply don't have a large enough public water system- most people still get their water from wells.
    So... now that you will never talk to me again, I will drag my poo butt off to the corner store and stock-up on old fashioned incandescent lightbulbs because I HATE these motherfrick'in fluorescents.

    1. Silver amalgam fillings do still contain mercury. Smaller amounts is what i was told this week when making dentist appts for my kids. And if the high mineral content of our water caused all THAT including 'gasp' DEATH of teeth...then New Orleans would have been in a hell of a mess after katrina, because we weren't force fed fluoride for a few years following Katrina. Guess what happened? NOTHING. There are many studies that have actually proved that fluoridating the water actually increases cavities, not decreases. Certainly there are enough non fluoridated cities now to debunk the death of teeth theory, no? LOL, I don't hate you. I hate fluoride. Metals in vaccines. Eating non-food disguised and marketed as food, etc.

  5. Hell yes! Fluoride is bad!! I buy the fluoride-free toothpaste for our whole family. Then at the dentist, they try to give my kids the super-duper fluoride toothpaste that you need a prescription for, because it's supposedly GOOD for your teeth?? Huh?? People go along with it because they think they're doing the right, healthy thing. I'm slowly converting my whole house to be chemical-free, including food!! It's hard, but I'm getting there.

  6. My husband's water was fluoridated, mine was from a well. My mouth is full of metal (mercury, apparently), his is not.

    And I was going to comment more but I'm just blown away by the abundant content of this post. Where would I start? Poop? Serfs? Middle children being annoying?

    Instead lets just go with the safe and standard..."I really enjoyed this post."

  7. This post is just more shit-tons of reasons for me to love you. About the fluoride in the water... we (Americans) do have like, the healthiest teeth on the planet. I'm married to a Peruvian... he and his whole family have shitty teeth - and the water in Peru isn't fluoridated. That's my extremely scientific study of THAT. I am going to research more now, though, because now ya got me all worked up.

    You gotta go read my post from yesterday about the "C" word. Not what you think, and TOTALLY related to this post. ;)

  8. You always make me think... wow... I never thought about fluoride, I am going to research this for sure...

  9. Questioning is a good thing-sometimes kids find the answers that settles the issue for themselves, yet we may want to pull our hair out!! As a Pre-K teacher I pose questions and get asked questions & my own children are inquisitive so it is good that a mind wants to inquire, although it is hard not to give a sarcastic answer on occasion for one's own entertainment!! That part made me think back to when my kids were little & I could not get through a 30 minute TV program without "WHY" being asked about every 30 seconds!! Then you got me thinking about teeth & maybe the fluoride is why some people can open a beer bottle with their teeth-it is like they become hand tools or face tools at least.

  10. Hi there! I just got nominated for a Beautiful Blogger Award (my first award!) and have listed (and linked) you as one of my favorite bloggers. Hope you don't mind. The post will be be published monday. Hope you check in.

  11. I keep a pack of baby wipes on a shelf next to our toilet. No one questions this, because I have a 6yo girl who needs a little help wiping and a 3yo boy who is stubbornly refusing underpants. I wonder if anyone will call us out after both are well past diapers....

  12. Flushable wipes! Amazing....

    I hate being a sheep, but it's easy. And that's why so many people do it. They don't question because questioning takes too much energy. Now that I have a kid, I try to be less of a sheep. When my daughter questions me and I don't know the answer, which is usually the case, I'll try and find the answer. So, thanks for the reminder...

  13. Growing children have tons of question their minds, so you can't just blame them... I was smiling while reading your post from start to end, it eventually relates on my motherhood journey too much! I think almost all moms have been there and done that too! :D

  14. Yup! All moms have been there. Patience is key and then a nice drink! Voted for u! I'm also you r newest Twitter follower: @scggirl. Love the blog, love how honest and open you are!